Multiple Sources Confirm Avera, Sanford Not Competing

Two of the state’s largest employers confirmed late Sunday that they are not in competition with each other.

Grabbing land around Sioux Falls like the city’s pioneers once did from the cold dead hands of American Indians, Avera and Sanford health systems stated unequivocally that their respective proposed expansions across the urban landscape are “purely coincidental.”

A Sanford source went on to assure our readers that “any appearance of conspicuous development aimed at crippling our supposed ‘rival’ into defeat is entirely unintended. We’re happy for Avera and their plans to expand to other campus sites. That’s just great.”

An Avera source likewise expressed content for the back-and-forth one-upmanship outsiders might compare to Bloody Kansas. “Our growth reflects our commitment to the successful outcomes of our patients and the overall health of our community. We are definitely not building on a whim to outdo Sanford. Definitely not.”

Asked if this news would allow patients to use health insurance interchangeably at both behemoths, the Avera source said to forward that request to Sanford, who in turn replied that the ball was in Avera’s court.